Growing Up

What does 'growing up' mean to you?

Is it the physicality of growing taller and seeing your clothes no longer fit?  That feeling when you have your last day at primary school and start shopping for supplies for seniors (did anyone else get well excited looking at stationery in WHSmiths?! No? Just me?)?  Is it being in your first serious relationship and moving in together?

I think it's a mental thing mainly.  Your perspective on life changes, your priorities change, the things you want to do change.

I think it's important to keep a spark of childhood, I'll still love watching a good Disney film from my youth, and  I may still get excited by TMNT or Batman merch.  But I like to think I'm pretty mature and grown up, and like to be around others that are the same in that way.

I think part of growing up is growing out of unhealthy habits and sometimes relationships. To have a new perspective on what you consider having 'fun'.  To behave in a more sensible way, to make progress in being as good a version of yourself as you can be. 

Sometimes I struggle with people that seem to be lacking in maturity, it makes me feel a bit uneasy.  I associate some of their behaviour with past negative experiences of being around people like that in my youth,  and also even the painful memories of similar behaviour in others causing me hurt in the more recent present too.

I'm proud of where I am in life and what I've achieved, and I guess I seek similar levels in others of being level headed with goals and outlooks. 

I get pleasure out of being snuggled up on the sofa with my other half at home watching a film on rainy days,  exploring new cities, a peaceful sunny day and sitting outside with a cup of tea and a book! Lately I've noticed how I feel new levels of happy when we discuss our future, plans, and serious decisions about things that I've started thinking more about recently.  That sort of 'grown up' stuff would always be my choice over a night of drunken partying, going on a girls night out with the goal of simply drinking too much... that's never appealed to me even in younger years so even less so now.  I don't understand it.  I've known girls younger than myself talk about how they 'can't remember' what they did the night before, or all the random blokes that tried to 'get off' with them and which one they ended up going home with or whatever... I don't get it.  I don't think I 'grew out of' that sort of lifestyle as it was never what I was into in the first place.

Yeah we'd meet up and have a chat over a couple of bottles of wine maybe and have a laugh and a bit of a dance but the getting drunk for the sake of getting drunk and throwing money down the rain on booze has just never been something I've understood.  I find it sad when I get the impression people need to drink to have a good time, or like it's almost their 'hobby', just going drinking.  I've seen the effects of drinking too much and it's really not something you want to fall prey to or even feel proud of, like going out drinking constantly is some sort of badge of honour. I think it's definitely more of a thing with men, almost like it's a 'look I'm one of the guys' thing a bit maybe.  I remember being on a college trip once and one male mate actually made himself really sick by trying to 'keep up' with another male friend's drinking, even though it was obvious he wasn't really a drinker. Then I had to look after him all night and felt sorry for him even though it was his own doing... 

This is the sort of 'growing up' I wonder if some people just never 'grow' out of as it's simply their chosen past time as a grown woman/man too. Partying, getting drunk...it's funny, cause it's seen as quite a 'social' thing, yet it normally goes hand in hand with loneliness and lack of significant loving relationships. Both as a cause for drinking, but also in terms of the destruction of relationships as a result.  I feel like that sort of 'drunken-nights-out' lifestyle has a detrimental affect on both families and romantic relationships.  

Don't get me wrong I know the difference between popping down the pub with a few friends for a glass of wine or couple of beers and the sort of 'nights out' I'm referring to. I also know that happy tipsy feeling, but I also know the pain that careless drunk behaviour causes too.  I think in the right setting and with the right people, I can get on board with a party atmosphere with alcohol, but I feel like those two things can be pretty important.  

But anyway, enough on the drunken nights out...

I think it's important to be around people that share your values in lifestyles like that and have the same priorities and outlook on things, otherwise they'll either influence you at a detriment to your own morals, or they'll let you down.

I think part of growing up is recognising things in people around you that maybe used to be part of you, but aren't anymore as you chose to change, and I think it's good for people to see that in others and feel proud of your own growth and recognition of what you want in life.

It goes so fast it shouldn't be wasted on dumb behaviour.  There's so much more fulfilling stuff out there,  adventuring, travelling the world, experiencing real love,  learning new skills and trying out new activities,  starting your own family - creating your own little human is an adventure for some in itself.

I've been thinking more about what I want out of life this year, I think we all probably have after such a strange one.  Although I didn't want to totally lose work, obviously, I have decided I've quite enjoyed working at least less, even if it means less money is coming in.  Time is more precious.  I've also had a bit of a change of direction on some other life related decisions that I thought I was certain on, but I guess growing up can also mean changing your mind on certain things...